If your boyfriend is on drugs...How do you tell him you are pregnant?

Recently I felt compelled to answer a hub request, but some people may not enjoy my opinion on this. However, these are my true feelings on this issue, so I must share. First off I saw the requester of this hub put teens as a key word, so I can tell from this she is younger. Actually I just went back and read the request and see she is about fourteen, and I was irritated people were treating her like a second class citizen. She may be way too young to be pregnant, but making rude and disrespectful comments towards a young mother does not help the situation. This is her baby, and whereas she is really young, I still believe she has the right to raise her child. I actually knew some people who were in their teens that became good mothers after making a few bad choices, so each situation is different. Not everyone is going to give up their baby such as in the movie Juno, and telling someone they are stupid or out of it never helps. Teen mothers are going to need their family's support on this one, but no one should give up their baby just because people tell them too.

This is her baby, and she will need support and hard work to pull this off. However, rude comments towards a teen mother do not make things better. I would recommend the teen mother watch the show Teen Mom on MTV so they will know what they are in for. This is not picnic and once a teen has a baby her social life as a youngster is over, or in my book anyway. Adoption can be a good choice, but a teen can raise the baby with the support of her family this is so much healthier. We hear so many stories about adults searching for their birth parents, and staying with your birth family when possible is preferable to everyone involved.

Second, I imagine the father is not much older than her, so this is a couple that really does not have much life experience. Our society always talks about the rights of the father, but my personal opinion is the rights of the mother always come first. Some people may not like that I feel that way, but they can go and lump it. The mother is the one carrying the baby, so she has to make sure it will be raised in a healthy environment.

Even if you were not pregnant you should ditch him like a hot potato, but when you have a baby you should take off like a light. Do not even worry about telling him because you are pregnant, and need to get on with your beautiful life. By the way I know he does not love himself because he is on drugs, so he could never truly love you or the baby. If he is on drugs he has no respect for himself, so there is no way he could have respect for others. I know there is always this talk about standing by your man, and pleasing your man, but who really cares about all that if he is on drugs. Some people may highly disagree with me and this may be why I am single and thirty-one, but I have a low tolerance for people that have no respect for me.

A man on drugs could not be a good father to your baby, a caring provider, and you certainly would not want your kids around him. You may still love him, but if you stay with him another moment you will regret it down the road. Let him check himself into rehab, but now your primary responsibility is your baby. Forget what he thinks and think about the life inside your womb. Forget what other people tell you about supporting or pleasing your man, because sometimes in life you just need to please yourself. Actually to be honest I always thought the line "I please my man," was sort of annoying and not very true. When do you hear men say "I please my woman"?. Women say this far more than men, and we still live in a society where women are the primary nurturers. We are taught from birth to nurture and protect, but now your responsibility is to nurture yourself and the baby. It is your responsibility to protect it, and being around a man with a drug addiction will not further that goal.

A person on drugs often is looking for that next "fix," and they will not conserve money for bills. Right now all you need to focus on is getting away from him, and later if he cleans up his act you can introduce your child to him. In my book the mother carries the baby and is responsible for taking care of this young one. There are many strong and competent single mothers out there, and there is nothing wrong with going it alone in this life time. Sure if would be nice to meet prince charming, but I would not settle for Mr. Prince uncharming ever. I will tell you the unpopular thing to drop him and I know this is not cool, but it is vital. Sometimes it is just better to take care of yourself and your baby. Go to school and invest in the future for the two of you. Let him and his family help him get over the drug addiction. It is not your job to heal or take care of him, and people usually only end a drug addiction when they are ready.