Double Standards
59Double standards exist in every society and situation, but is funny to see how these often play out. A humorous guy in the office may be able to get away with saying borderline offensive comments to people because he can laugh it off as joking, whereas someone else might get in trouble for it. The same is true on forums and the Internet, but I think it is just a phenomenon of society really. People do not set out to create double standards, but these pop up most expectantly. For instance, I remember how we had a strict attendance rule in one of our class about how points would be deducted from our grade if we showed up late to class, but one acquaintance did this repeatedly and the professor never said anything. Did the teacher realize he had made a double standard for the other students? Maybe, maybe not. I think he just thought this girl was attractive and could care less if she walked in late.
In my life I have often come to accept that double standards are everywhere, but from time to time it is funny to see how some get away with what others cannot. In high school there was that classmate who ditched class almost every day, but still aced the class. On the other hand there would be the students that sat in class asking questions, studying hard, but who would end up with a lower grades than the person who was never there. I even knew people who bragged about not showing up for the final but still got a C in the class, whereas another friend struggled through the entire class and ended up with the same grade. For along time I have thought part of the grade should more heavily rely on effort and attendance because a few brilliant souls can brisk through and pass, whereas other come every day, struggle with their studies, and often end up with the same or lower grade. Honestly I think it is more commendable to put in that Hercelean effort, and five years down the line these individuals will probably cherish the class more than those who never attended.
The same is true for the Internet where double standards pop up from time to time. People have no qualms calling a blatant spammer a spammer, and a few even say they hate spammers. It is okay to say you hate people that clog up your inbox, but one person said they hated smokers and some were very sensitive about it. I am an overly sensitive person myself, but I was able to see through the comment that "I hate smokers" did not mean he hated people. Some people do not like smoking and have strong opinions about it, whereas others do smoke and take offense to anyone alluding to how they may hate smokers.
Okay, once my friend and I even said we hated smokers, but that was because everyone had to walk through the commons area at our university, which was lined with benches where almost half of the students smoke. Since it was outside and a few feet away from the building people were allowed to do this, but for those of us who could not stand smoking it really clogged our lungs. It got to the point I was willing to walk the long away around the building as opposed to smelling all of that putrid air. So in jest my friend and I once said we hated smokers, but that was just because we had to walk through their cloud every afternoon to get to class.
Sorry if smokers that that personally, but from time to time there are double standards about smoking. This has subsided since the mid-nineties when I was an undergrad, but even today at bus stops people smoke out in the open. I literally start choking when several people all light up there, and to me it seems that it would not be allowed because it is a place in public where people wait for buses.
Many of us complained about the gagging stench, but seeing the bus driver light up made us realize it must be okay. The bus stop is outside and away from buildings, so I suppose smoking is allowed. To me it seems like a double standard some smokers complain about their rights to smoke inside and smoke in general, when even outside we have to put up with the stench of their aroma.
Honestly for exercise and cleaner air I decided it was just easier to walk the three miles home rather than wait twenty to thirty minutes at a bus stop clogged with smokers. This is one of the several times I have gone the long way to avoid cigarette smoke, but I would rather do this than breath it in.
Another reason I hate smoking is because growing up my dad felt the need to smoke and treat himself to many luxuries, but he would lecture my mom about driving into the city to buy things we needed. "Why can't you not get it here in town?" he would implore, but when he wanted something he always bought it. His double standards went beyond cigarettes and that is not what this is all about, but often others get away with what others cannot. I would not want to always have a double standard applied to me, and I do try not to apply these to others.
However, if someone says they hate smokers on a forum do not get overly upset about it. Other people have their equally strong says about other issues, but if it comes to a sensitive topic like smoking people get very upset about it. I do not think anyone would be upset if someone said they hate spammers on a forum. I really, really hate cheese, but I doubt the cheese makers of the world will take offense to that. I even hate it when people put a cheesy item on my plate, but that does not mean I hate the person. Sometimes hate is a word that is overused to express detest of a certain thing, not hatred of a person.
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CommentsLoading...
My son is a smoker and it drives me nuts, but I don't hate him for it. I tell him that he is a victim and he cigarette companies will use him up. Second hand smoke is a problem and it is one that smokers do not want to face.
Funny how we have to watch what we say to be PC. I hate being PC,lol.
Double standards are alive and well in all areas of life. Good article and I can appreciate your point of view on the subject matter.
As kids develop, and as a teacher, I was faced with trying to explain this concept to 1st graders. Heck, even adults don't understand it...LOL My answer to my kids in class was something like "you'll be much happier if you save your energy and tears for big things; there will always be someone cutting in front of you..."
It's much more profitable and less time consuming, I would say to kids in class and kids in my home, to be an example of "decency" and "courtesy" and "fairness" in the face of those who are not, then to waste your feelings over small problems that will not be resolved.
However, that doesn't mean that sometimes we have to fight a battle over unfair policies and practices, it's just that we need to weigh what's important to us...and march to that drum.
=)) great points....
SweetiePie,
I here you. Good job and interesting thoughts. thanks for sharing.
Interesting read and I do agree with marisue...it is important for teachers to help children understand not to go in for the overkill, with every little thing.
I totally know what you mean about the hate word. It's funny because my youngest daughter is taking issues with that word. It makes her feel bad when peopole say it. She apparently feels its strength. She prefers it if people said what they meant, like upset, or peeved, or disgruntled, or not happy with, etc. So it's been quite a topic over hear and we are all using more specific words to talk about our feelings in general to get the point across just so.
As for double standards, I don't see that there will ever not be one, as unfair as it is. And that's about at far as I can go with that unless I want to write a hub in the comments section LOL.
I loved this. Thanks.
In this relative world of internet your words have importance.
Helo Sweetiepe! Good job and I agree...it is difficult to live in a world with double standards and I, being an ex smoker, feel I would not be hypocritical to say "I hate smokers" but the PC term I need to use is "I hate cigarettes and the smoke it produces" A question for another article may be "Would you be establishing a double standard if you walked in front of the smoking students on MON, WED, SAT holding your nose and gagging but on the other four days you walked by the same group without any reaction at all?" HAHA that would be a cool philospohical writing exercise eh?
Hi SweetiePie
A very interesting Hub - it is certainly very easy to be misunderstood over the internet. Communication lacks the body language and subtle cues that face-to-face conversation has.
PS - I saw your comment on the Church forum, and I liked it, but respect your decision to delete it. You are far too nice!
I just saw the hub, so I am going to have a read!
Unfortunately, Double standards are alive and well in all walks of life. You show me yours and I'll show mine and we will end up disagreeing and I concur that "hate" is a much overused word. Good interesting hub.
Double standards only limit us if we choose to let it. But you have a great point. Always some thing interesting on your hubs
People do over use the word hate. Love is also a word that gets over used. I love lasgna but I wouldn't marry it.




















alekhouse Level 4 Commenter 3 years ago
Interesting pespective. You are so right, of course