On Being Single

Single women need to stop looking for "Mr. Right," and to start enjoying in the present. There was a period of time in my twenties when I thought dating and getting married would be the best thing ever. I had not felt that way until my twenties but for someone reason social pressure of friends getting married me I feel like I was missing out. I finally realized how others live does not pertain to me, and I must be happy in my own present moment. I am not saying I will never date or ever get married, but at this moment in time, honestly this not on my mind. Often I meet someone who I like, and there is no mutual attraction, so why get upset over that? When I hear some single women talk they describe how they are looking for "Mr. Right", and that is all fine and good, but I really just do not care about that anymore.

In my late twenties, I thought about my strategies regarding dating and realized none of these ever made me feel super great. I am not the social butterfly type, and constantly meeting new people in the search for a soul-mate just began to feel wrong. I began to take stock of how precious my life is as a single person, and I began to realize this is the icing on my cake. I do not talk about daycare and diapers like many women my age who have social get-togethers with other mothers, and I do not feel I am missing out on anything. I love working and focusing on my artwork and writing. Being a single woman is the icing on the cake, and I am missing out on absolutely nothing in this lifetime. I stopped waiting for something to happen that society told me was important, and embraced my precious and amazing life for what it truly is. Life being single is not a drag, and the only pitfall is when you fail to realize how valuable life is.

Be ready and willing to say my life is pretty darn fabulous now as it is, and I could not give a darn if I never get date again, or if I ever get married. Sure this buys into the super scary notion of how a woman is an Old Maid if she does not get married, but old men like Hugh Hefner is considered the ultimate "Playboy" for being a bachelor in his seventies. Society still has some what of this stereotype that an old married woman is lonely and alone, but that the old bachelor type like Hugh is living it up. The concept of a female cougar who dates younger men is helping to deconstruct the mythology that only older men can enjoy their singlehood beyond the age of forty.

I have no desire to be dating younger men when I am in my fifties, but more power to the women who say, hey I enjoy being single, and society is not going to dictate what the rules are to me. From reading biographies I have learned cougars have been around for a very long time. Some young men in their twenties are very much into dating older women, so who is to say the single fifty-five year "old-maid" on your block is to be pitied.

So even though society has created outrageous stereotypes about lonely unmarried women going home to a hundred cats, the truth is that is a vast exaggeration. The reality is even people who get married find they are lonely in their relationships, which is why there has always been such a prevalence for cheating. You can be lonely in any life situation, and you must stopping looking for happiness from outside stimuli. Seeing these things in the larger picture has helped me to realize marriage is not something anyone has to yearn for, and it is imperative to enjoy your life in the present moment because this is the most courageous and amazing gift of all. I myself find dating way too social and slightly boring, but who is to say a sixty year old single cannot live it up on the dating scene if they want to? Rules have changed, and people can define their lives beyond age old stereotypes. Leave the stereotypes for those who cannot think outside the box.

I started a thought provoking blog called: datingandthesinglegirl.blogspot.com, which used to be mostly about dating, but now it is about being a single woman who does not have any interest in dating, and how being single and not dating is amazing. Actually I think both men and woman can have an a thought provoking journey as single people, and only pld societal stereotypes makes us feel that is wrong. Break free of the stereotypes and learn to live your life in the present. Happiness is at your door, and there is no need to go looking for something that you do not already have. Work with what you already have to find contentment and serenity.

You can make your own wishes come true.  Take that exciting trip to Tahiti on your own, and who cares if you do not have a handsome man by your side.  The Tahitian men are very attractive, and a single woman can spend her type checking out the local hotties, whereas if her husband saw her doing that he might get jealous.  The same goes for the guys, you could meet a really beautiful Tahitian woman and stroll along the beach.  Oh being single is such a drag when you can take a sultry vacation on your own to Tahiti.  I will draw the beaches and the landscape when I go, and that will be my wish and dream by me.  I am not waiting for someone to make it happen, I am doing it own my own!